I brush my teeth

I was brushing my teeth just now at a motorway hotel in southern Germany, on my way back from a really rather fun drive to Italy. I gave my tongue a little once over with my tongue scraper – not a massively regular weapon in my toiletry arsenal, but when you need it you need it.

I put it down on sink next to my toothbrush to dry off while I prepared to pop down to breakfast and charge the car. The thought struck me, what if I died while I was out of the room? I had a vision of an investigating police officer spotting the tongue scraper and asking his forensics colleague if my tongue really was clean. ‘Sieht sehr gut aus,’ she would say – looks great.

I dried it quickly and put it back in my bag.