Step back in time

I know that if you have the ability to go back in time you’re supposed to do something worthy with the immense power, like go into the past and save the world from the perils of unspeakable suffering wrought by the likes Adolf Hitler or Cheryl Cole.

If I went back in time it would be to check messages on WhatsApp before they were deleted. Another wellspring of unspeakable suffering wrought.

Because it’s not enough simply to kill Hitler really – Germany was suffering from the impact of the Treaty of Versailles and Hitler was the opportunist herdsman who drove the country in the right direction. Well, the wrong direction, but you know. In many ways the Weimar Republic was such a roiling period disquiet that any number of other people could have risen up with the wind behind them.

And if you could kill two wars with one stone you’d have a go, wouldn’t you? You’d have return to the point at which Franz Ferdinand decided to visit the victims of his failed assassination attempt, a badly thrown grenade. The driver stalled his car right next to a dejected gunman sitting in a cafe.

But then in many ways Germany and Russia were spoiling for a fight in the run up to the first world war. Where would you nip that in the bud? Do we stop Otto Von Bismarck from unifying the German states in 1871?

It’s exhausting really, you basically need a history degree just to do something nice for people.