I’m introducing some tariffs

I’m not entirely sure how all of this works, but I’ve decided to announce tariffs on everything people give me. Again, not sure how it works but I expect I’ll get very rich very quickly and it’ll serve them right for trying to give me stuff.

It’s worked already on a coffee I ordered this morning, where I made them give me two sugars. I don’t actually take any sugars in my coffee, but it’s the principle of the thing.

A principle I’m not too sure what it actually is, but it feels like it could be an important principle. And don’t try to argue with me on this, because I’ll make you pay tariffs on the argument. That’ll be 20 percent extra right there. Boom, no more arguments.

It’s really clever stuff actually, I don’t know why anyone hasn’t thought of it before, it’s not like there are tariffs on coming up with ideas.