I have felt entirely let down these holiday by two great stalwarts of Christmas traditions - Christmas telly and the New Year sales.
Let's be honest with ourselves, they were both completely crap. I enjoyed the Top Gear Christmas Special and I got myself a new pair of shoes for £20 but that was it really - there was naff all else to be had. What happened? Have we lost our self-respect as a nation? Has the looming threat of recession and privation at long last encouraged us all to aspire to something of the true meaning of Christmas by eschewing repeats and spurning the heady excesses of capitalism's tempting wiles? I can't say, all I know is that they were completely crap.
But even one day back into the working life I'm wistful for the sleepy days of yore, back in the deepest recesses of 2008 when I used to lie in of a morning and spend the day reading, or watching the West Wing on DVD. Indeed, the happiest two weeks of my life.
I got back to work today and couldn't remember which floor the office was on, I forgot my password on the computer and couldn't remember my phone number when booking a room for a meeting. This is why you shouldn't take time off work, this is why I don't relax between shifts - you get lured into a false sense of security and unlearn all of the daily chores and rituals you've bred into yourself over a prolonged period.
I've been wondering if 2009 will feel a lot shorter - a whole day and a second shorter than 2008, it shall surely whizz by.
In other news it took me over five sodding hours to get back from Coventry to London yesterday - not so much leaves on the line as lines on the line. I was ready to kill someone by the time I got home at half nine after a journey that was only supposed to take ninety minutes. The sordid experience has only strengthened my belief that legislation should be introduced to prevent Richard Branson from engaging in any sort of business activity that is going to cause distress or otherwise impact on any other living person's life. The only thing I can suggest as an alternative would be Virgin Prisons - the experience would be so excruciating that no-one would commit a crime ever again. The only downside being that people's sentences would over-run by several years and entire buildings would constantly be closed for improvements.
2 hours ago


