A little open letter. Ajar, if you will.

Dear Facebook,

As I’m sure you’re no doubt aware, I left you in the middle of last week in a fit of pique, an inelegant protest at your shockingly bad update. New Facebook? Are you all too young to have heard what happened to Coke? It was in the Eighties…never mind. The very simplicity that attracted so many to you has been wilfully abandoned for a new interface filled with more white space than this paper which has been left intentionally blank. I’m confused when I use it - perhaps this is a new ploy, introduced by the R&D department, whereby people are more seduceable by insidious advertises in their state of abject puzzlement. Or maybe it’s designed to keep over-22s out of the picture by introducing technology that only the kids can possibly get down with.

Of course, leaving isn’t leaving with you lot, it’s just logging out for an extended period, because you save everything just the way it was in order to make the inevitable comeback that much easier. I would resist, if only you hadn’t rendered the entirety of society incapable of any other means of communication.

I shall have to come back, but please be fully aware that it is under duress and your ‘New Facebook’ remains utter crap. You should still change it back.

Yours unwillingly,

Sam

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4 Responses to “A little open letter. Ajar, if you will.”

  1. Scholiast Says:

    I’ve managed to ignore the new layout, pretending it’s not there (though it obviously is) - living in denial seems to be what I do best :)

  2. Maynard Says:

    This little tip might make an already confusing Facebook turn downright bewildering, but if you like Pirates enough you’ll learn to live with it.

    From your Facebook page click ’settings’ then ‘account settings’ then ‘languages’ then select ‘English (Pirate)’.

    Yarrrr

  3. sam Says:

    It may as well be in pirate english, maybe that’s part of the upgrade…

  4. sam Says:

    And do you know what tops it all off? The feedback form doesn’t work on any of the pages, it’s impossible to tell them what you think of them…

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